Drunk fathers count, too. But in my case, my father was a happy drunk. He drank every day, but his demeanor usually didn't change. Just once I saw him red in the face and giggling too much. It wasn't very threatening.
My mother is another story. You have never met a more vicious, spiteful, disdainful, black-hearted woman. She enjoys sucking all the joy out of the smallest grace, the kindest gesture, the happiest event. The bluebird of happiness could perch on her finger and she would complain bitterly that it scratched her skin and made too much noise singing.
Even though I'm a writer, I have not said anything in public about my mother's alcoholism for 59 years for fear of letting out "the secret." And she did do an incredible job fooling people. I was afraid of her friends might see something, and it would get back to her, and... Well, if you have a drunk mother, you can write the rest.
Now my parents are ages 92 and 94, half mad from dementia and wet brain from 70 years of drinking, alone because they have outlived all their friends or driven them away - and I want to lift the lid off the boiling cauldron that was my childhood and life.
Do you know what this picture is? If you answered "sassafrass leaves" you get a gold star! Why are they important? Because when I was 8, my mother - who was incredibly wealthy but looked and lived like a bag lady - took a liking to Stalking the Wild Asparagus, by Euell Gibbons. She decided to "live off the land" even though she had no clue what she was doing. She had no knowledge of camping, wildlife, or even house plants for that matter (strictly forbidden). But she would rip the giant, tough leaves off sassafrass trees and give them to me to eat, probably having read somewhere about sassafrass tea.
The leaves were thick and fuzzy. They were awful. Looking back, I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would even think of chewing on them. Best of all, I found out later that they are poisonous.
A drunken mother is a menace, but the children never let on. Did your mother ever poison you with anything? Tylenol that was 6 years out of date? Spoiled milk or hot dogs? Accidental overdoses of penicillin or cough medicine? Please let me hear your experiences in the comments. (I hope they are working correctly!)
10/30/2013
